Thursday, June 7

Scripted: Ravioli Vignette

MY SISTER
Oh hey April, thanks for house sitting.

ME
My pleasure.

MY SISTER
As always you're free to eat anything.

ME
Okay.

MY SISTER
There's a ton of pasta in the fridge.

ME
Okay. Have fun on your trip!

24 hours later all the pasta is gone and BECAUSE I ate all those carbohydrates I'm craving even more. As I scrounge for food in the cupboard I come across a can of ravioli.

ME
Oooh! Perfect, I'm going to eat this ravioli.

I then spend about ten minutes going through all the drawers and cupboards searching for a can opener, but to no avail.

ME
I REALLY want to eat this ravioli.

I take a device that in some distant age was probably used to puncture aluminum cans to get the liquid part out. I have no idea how to use it.

ME
I AM GOING TO EAT THIS RAVIOLI!


I spend about twenty minutes tearing apart the can so that the hole is big enough for the pieces of ravioli because I love it when the pieces come out perfectly. Amazingly, I do not injure myself.

ME
YAY! RAVIOLI!

I then take pictures to forever immortalize one of my happiest moments of my life.

3 comments:

KARYN CADY said...

ahhhhahah YOU'RE A MONSTER!

KARYN CADY said...

it's almost like... a world apocalypse happens and you've got tons of glorious canned food so you don't starve... but nothing to open it with. so you die not because of the alien invasion or the detrimental natural disasters... oh no... it is because of your lack of a simple object that tears through metal while leaving your food in tact.

Colleen E. said...

hahaha! I saw script and images and thought "Oh, a monster ravioli can... this should be good." Then I read the dialogue and laughed my head off. You crack me up, April. I'm glad you got your ravioli in the end. I love happy endings. Did you ever find the can opener?